The front page of MMO Champion confirmed it tonight–3.3 will be deployed on live servers this week. The release of Icecrown Citadel will not only conclude the WotLK storyline, but it will also usher in class tweaks and a number of exhilarating challenges (if PTR and Blizzard press releases are anything to go by.) Personally, I’m beside myself with excitement about the Shaman T10 set and resto healing bonuses, not to mention all of the epic gear that awaits raiders in the icy home of the Lich King. To commemorate the occasion, and keep you from reading yet another post hypothesizing about the impact of the changes in the largely unexplored raid instance, I thought I’d offer a WoW-geek variation of the famous “Night Before Christmas”. Enjoy!
The Night Before 3.3
Twas the night before patch, and all through the land
The raiders were restless about what was at hand;
A new raiding challenge and magical purples ahead,
And at the end of it all, someone lies dead.
Computers were primed for Tuesday’s download to start,
And every troll in Dalaran was doing his part,
To drive the excitement to the max fever pitch,
To get blood boiling for the fight with the Lich.
Guilds all primed with their strats, plots, and schemes,
Shamans all drooling for the tier of their dreams;
Tanks all atwitter about the curse of the throne,
Healers all preparing to mash their fingers to bone.
When all at once in trade chat, their arose such a chatter,
My fingers sprang to my keys to inquire what was the matter.
It won’t come tomorrow, the doubters proclaimed,
Blizzard and their promises, they should be ashamed!
Vanilla was better, with its raid teams amassed,
Compared to those fights, this effort is crass.
The hybrids chimed in, our dps lacks,
You’ll be bringing in pures, instead of us hacks!
Soon all of trade was awash with the tears,
Of all the complaints from the precluding years.
A lone voice cried out (as best you cry in type),
C’mon all you players, don’t buy into this hype.
Remember last year, at midnight you waited,
For your very own copy, with breath that was baited.
The excitement you felt at new lands to explore,
You had no idea the adventures in store.
Through Northrend you trudged, to Naxx up on high,
To battle with foes, who in Vanilla you passed by.
Then to the Titans in mountainous peaks,
Where we toiled in against hardmodes, for weeks upon weeks.
The Coliseum, most recent, brought some relaxation,
To allow us to rest before the last altercation.
A fight fraught with lore, an end of the fable,
All that matters right now is that we’re willing and able!
So cease all your crying, your QQ and your doubt;
This patch that is coming, is what Wrath is about!
An unexpected silence fell over the mass,
As players pondered what would come to pass;
The end of the line, was well within sight,
A path that would open, after this very night.
Slowly it returned, the bustle and chat,
The excitement it rose, even in vacant old Shatt.
Soon at the death gates, the sky dark with mounts,
Was heard the sound of the raiders, and the sound of their shouts.
To Icecrown, they roared, for gearscore I go!
To challenge, to fight and to vanquish that foe!
Into the Citadel, it’s death that I bring;
Death to the Scourge and death to the Lich King!